On the Faint of Heart

There are moments when I look back at myself and wonder if I could have been a better or more courageous person in my own eyes. These moments often occur on elevator rides where I believe a more mature and wiser me would just chat with people on the ride up but sometimes I just fail altogether in trying to talk to the other person. I feel like what I lacked at those moments were heart and not courage. I just did not feel like being a better me. It was not fear of social rejection that stopped me but just not having the heart to start the conversation. I wonder if there is truly some kind of meaning that I am looking for in here.