On Not Knowing

Yesterday I found out that one of the people that I worked for freshman year at RPCC was one of the people who committed suicide last year. I feel confused and mixed about the whole ordeal at the moment. I mean I feel like I should have paid more attention to the newspapers. I mean he was an acquaintance but I feel so pathetic in my passivity over the whole situation. Maybe at the moment I did not have the means to deal with the situation. I think I did actively avoid thinking and just tried to externalize the issue by not paying attention to the people who committed suicide. I hope I can change for the better.